I've just written about 8 introductions and deleted them all. Pretty sure nobody wants to read introspective musings about mentally justifying clogging the tubes with yet more vain mediocrity anyway, so instead, I'm just going to plunge straight into the content.

Be warned, and I apologise in advance for this intensely boring first-post, that there may be images of designer sinks popping up here and there. That is to say, it's unlikely I'll get through all my favorites before getting hungry or bored. To be brutally honest, I doubt these are entirely designer anyway, many are probably just designed. The obvious difference being that I can design a sink and I am not a sink designer.

Sadly.

 

This one, for example, totally looks like it might just be a bit of concept art. I reckon it works 'cos it kinda looks like a section of a falling stream of water? Sink-form analysis required plz.

I'm also really hoping that the existence of this image means that someone out there was commissioned to design some mental sinks. Perhaps I could find evening classes in avant-garde bathroom product design.

I don't actually want to be paid to design exquisite bathrooms for the rich and famous. Mostly, my hoarding of unusual-sink-pictures ('cos I definitely can't afford an actual-unusual-sink) stems from a desire to have a magnificent bathroom in my mansion when I'm older. 

Entertaining notions of the mad desires of celebrities is somewhat entertaining though. Cliff Richards wants a bath with an underwater tunnel leading to another bath. Yoko Ono wants a self cleaning beach floor, Johnny Depp wants one in black gloss and without any straight lines, etc etc, you get the picture.

Anyway, in a break from porcelain dreams, time to check the tiles! Is that some Roman/Greek inspired cleansing experience? Obviously for it to be truly authentic we'd need to know that the pipes were lead. Assessing whether or not this is the case wouldn't even require a spanner, a simple maths question directed toward your host will probably suffice.

I'm getting carried away now, apologies. Last one, a classic crowd pleaser, ol' spiral. Another bit of concept art methinks, but I reckon you could have a lot of fun, as long as it came with a plunger. Ideally you could train a toad or something to ride a small skateboard, underwater, round 'n down the spiral.

Anyway, I'm clearly starting to make less and less sense, so I'll finish here. Cheers for actually reading at least sentence, and apologies for the mish mash style, it'll hopefully improve as I post. When I post. If I post. Eek.

Next week, an essay on the potential benefits of introducing brown bears into the UK.